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Did I do that?

Tonight we were doing the spotlights for one of the production shows, when suddenly the singers’ mics went dead. Immediately following that, the orchestra’s equipment failed. Then the entire theatre plunged into darkness. I did what anyone would do – I checked my On/Off button on my spotlight to see if I accidentally turned it off. I gave it a little shake and then realized I was perched 100 ft in the air in complete darkness. And since our headsets were also dead, I couldn’t ask anyone what was going on. I just sat there for a few minutes listening to the murmur of the crowd below.

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Sorry, Sorry, Sorry..

The thing about living the way I do, is though I’m always doing terribly interesting things, I seldom have time to actually write them down. And I always say to myself “Self, make sure to make an entry about this event – it’s a great story.” and then I promptly forget the whole thing all together. Which doesn’t help any of us, frankly, since everything just kind of blends together, I can easily forget some of the more exciting things that have happened.
Some days I’ll hop on facebook and notice some new pictures that other people have posted of me and say “Oh yeah! I remember that!” or on the flip side “Hey, I don’t remember that!”

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The Candy Man Loves a Lady!

Last night I went to the office to get my schedule for today and Jean-Michel was just about to hit “Print” when I arrived. I peered over his shoulder and said “Are you going to finish it, or what?” since it was completely blank.

“That’s not a mistake, that’s your schedule tomorrow.”

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Genuine Fakes - Cheap

We’ve started our new 14 day itinerary which includes Kusadasi, Turkey and a handful of overnights. I made sure I was on duty yesterday, so that I could have the whole night off in Kusadasi to explore the Bazaar and perhaps get kidnapped.

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Big Beautiful Boobies

I remember a moment during my first contract on ships. I was standing in the middle of a couple dozen women in bikinis and I just looked around and said to myself “Self, you’re such a lucky guy – this is the life.”

 And this afternoon I was up on the pool deck on my way to host an event when I took a moment to peruse all the ample bossoms enjoying the sunshine and said to myself “Man, I wish these old guys would put a fucking shirt on….”

It’s crazy, all I see everywhere are old people. Like REALLY old people. You have the hunch-backers, the wobblers, the baby-steppers, the slack-jawers, the shakey-handers… I love charming the old ladies, but give me a fucking break, just a handful of people under 35 – PUH-LEASE!

Besides that, everything is going good. Sorry for the less frequent posts, but as much fun as these stories are to read, they’re even more fun to experience!

 

School Girl Party in the Crew Bar on Monday! 

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Showtime!

So after a few postponements due to the new dance cast, I finally performed a half hour of magic in our piano bar. I was really concerned that nobody would show up, since today we’re in Rome, and it’s always a really long day for tours and everyone is mostly dead by the time they get back to the ship.

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An Old Friend

This morning I woke up at 7am to do gangway, and when I stepped outside I was greeted with a familiar face – the Voyager of the Seas.
I knew that my friend Andrew (the guy who talked me into going back to gift shops two years ago) was the shop manager onboard, so after I finished gangway I went over and had security call him for me. We caught a bus into Livorno and caught up on old times over some drinks and lunch.

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Ugh..

There probably won’t be any updates for the next 10 days or so, since there’s something wrong with my account and I can’t add any money to it, and probably won’t be able to until payday. I’ve got 30 cents left on my internet package, so when it runs out, that’s it. So if I don’t reply to any emails, it’s not that I don’t love you, it’s just that I can’t get online!

I was at the gym yesterday, then went up on deck to get some sun, since I’m getting such a ridiculous Farmer’s Tan. My face and arms are so dark now, and the rest of me is my usual albino white. So I came back down, looked in the mirror and saw that I had gotten some pink action going on, so I was fine. Later in the day I started to itch and took off my shirt. I was greeted with the most vibrant shade of “Burn” that I’ve seen in a long time. And upon closer inspection, I also noticed that my chin must have been casting a shadow on my chest because I had an unburned patch on the left side of my neck and collar bone..
Breanna and I had headed to Andrea’s room after lunch in uniform and she asked if I had a red shirt on under my dress shirt. And smiled and unbuttoned a couple of buttons and pulled my shirt open. Breanna’s eyes popped and Andrea dropped to the floor laughing so hard.

Their laughter still haunted me as I sobbed myself to sleep that night, shirtless and in pain.

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She's going down!

We had the Starring You! show tonight, and talk about smoke and burn..
I was on my way out the door to have lunch with Claudia in Villefranche when Andy called and said that the 4 of us had to come back to the ship at 5 to hunt down 2 people to tell jokes for the show. This pissed Breanna, Andrea and I off because Andy has 5 hours to accomplish this himself since he’s on duty. But anyway…
So when we got back to the ship, I called him to see if he had found anyone. He said know, so I stormed upstairs to the pool deck, and in less than 10 minutes I had found 2 people who were willing to join the show. Was that so fucking hard?

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I fucking hate this place.

I’m totally pulling your leg. Sorry for the lack of updates this cruise, but as planned – I’ve started to have a social life, so I’m out a lot more after work. Things are going great, I’m finding my groove at work and beginning to build some friendships among the staff. I had my first “duty day” on Friday, which meant I was the only activities staff member on board during the day, so I was responsible for everything. The day went well, though a bit taken aback when I discovered that the Activities Director and Cruise Director both decided to forward their calls to my phone and left the ship as well.
The guest comments from last cruise arrived today, and there was 3 regarding me, so that’s pretty cool. Also, it turns out that I’ve been suckered back into doing the Moulin Rouge, and it’s a talent show in DRAG, so some of the “boys” are going to help me with some sort of costume. I’ve decided to do a juggling act involving raw eggs.

Don’t ask…