Journal

Happy New Year!

Well the Lunar New Year is upon us, and as expected, fireworks have been exploding since the wee hours and will continue for the next two weeks.

Dave and I picked up a ton of fireworks in preparation for the celebrations (15 bucks for what would cost a couple hundred back home), and David, Anny and Bella joined us in the courtyard of my apartment to set them all off.

What did I learn last night? Dave’s jacket is fire retardant. Those 12 big ones set off car alarms. And it sucks when they don’t go up high enough and come back down to head height and then explode. Accidentally placing a multiball shooter upside down is a great way to start fires. Screaming and frantically jumping up and down on said fires is a great way to put them out.

That said, it was a really fun time. Even with the bitter cold, smiles and laughter were constant throughout. And we’ll do it all again next week!

And yes, I’ve noticed it’s been a year since I wrote anything. I’ve led an extraordinarily boring 12 months. Things’ll change shortly, I promise. 35 more days!

Ultra Sneaky Way to Call Home For Free

When you’re not busy eating exotic treats, exploring or mixing it up with the locals, it’s always a good idea to keep in touch with your friends and family back home. And if you’re on a shoestring budget, you’ve got to pinch those pennies harder than you pinched those nipples on that ladyboy in Thailand. (Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.)
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Vegas Baby, Vegas!

The winner of The Misadventurer’s 4 Day Las Vegas Getaway is Chris Monette, from Calgary Canada!

He gets to enjoy 4 Days and 3 Nights Accommodations In Exciting Las Vegas, Nevada.
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Pleasantly Average New Year!

There’s enough “Happy New Year” titled posts and messages going around today, so I thought I’d give you a break.

You’re welcome.
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Google Provides Directions, Hilarity.

Got 35 seconds and need a quick chuckle?
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A Christmas Wish

As Christmas is almost upon us, I thought I’d share a bit of holiday cheer from China. Even though Christmas isn’t truly celebrated here, it’s nice to have these things to remind me of home Here’s a great 7-UP commercial. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it!
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Foto Friday

In 长春站—an underground market called “The Train Station Market”—this chef makes noodles by rolling the dough and then shredding it by hand. It’s a simple and mesmerizing way to make food.

And nobody notices. The Chinese walk past without so much as a glance; they’ve seen it before… probably at home.

But I notice. Not wanting to interrupt him, I snap this quick image, watch for a little while longer, and then melt back into the crowd.

- David Cross

Don't Pick Fights in China

On Sunday, about 10 minutes from my house, a 27 year old guy was backing up his car when he hit a 58 year old woman.  Instead of getting out to see if she was ok, he got out – exclaimed “I’m rich, so I could hit you as many times as I wanted.” And proceeded to start beating the poor old lady. “I can throw money at you to shut you up!” he continued to say as he smacked her around.
Unfortunately, a few other people around him didn’t agree with him and chased him back into his car. Standing around the car and preventing him to leave, word quickly spread about what a prick this guy was and within 15 minutes there was over 1000 angry Chinese people bashing the shit out of his car.
Who raises these kids?

Check out some footage below.
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Foto Friday

It’s strange that in the land of the censored, cocks would run free. Some cocks are big while most cocks are smaller.
Some even let their cocks hang out while kids are around. This is one of the cocks that is commonly seen at a kinder school I teach in.

- David Cross

They've opened the Colosseum to Spite Me

I’ve been to Rome dozens of times and visited the Colosseum 6 times. Though it’s an amazing structure to behold, I’d always find myself resting my chin on a pillar, looking down and imagining what must have been going through gladiators’ heads as they sat in the underground passageways awaiting certain death.
Which would then lead me to wonder “What do those dank dirty dungeons look like? And why can’t we explore them?”
And know you can. In groups of 25, guided tours enter the bowels of the Colosseum through the “Porta Libitina”, the passageway used to carry dead bodies out of the amphitheatre. You’ll get to see holding areas, cages and platforms used to raised ferocious men and beasts to battle it out daily for the entertainment of 50,000 bloodthirsty spectators.

Included in the tour is access to the also recently opened upper 3rd tier, which gives an unprecedented view of  the entire forum. Check out Tickitaly for pricing and availability.

PS, Good luck purchasing prior to the new year, since everybody and their mothers, plus their mother’s high school friends, plus their high school friends’ secret crushes, plus their secret crushes’ mailman will be wanting to see this.